Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
