dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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