i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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