I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
