i jhust puked up my retainher.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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