I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
