Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
