OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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