i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
