I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
