I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
