Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
