Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
