My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
