I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I think people are normalizing furries
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
