She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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