who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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