ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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