garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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