During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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