I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I wish my penis had an off switch
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
