He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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