Say something about gay babies.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
