We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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