You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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