sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
