So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
