it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
