I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
