I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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