Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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