Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
