Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i wish my penis had a tongue
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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