she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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