Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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