I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
