if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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