so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
