Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
