Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
