____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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