Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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