Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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