Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
