you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
