Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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