I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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