break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
