We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
