Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
