Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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