just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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