There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
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